Ashley Kerwin Fashion 4.12

Voices Carry Part 2

I abhor Ashley’s wedding outfit. It’s a stain my memory. However, it is a perfect representation of the cringe choices we’d make as teenagers, especially our outfits to very important events. Why, just this weekend my teenage cousin attended a family wedding in a shiny cocktail dress, but wore Doc Martens and a flannel shirt over it. Anyway, Ashley is wearing this navy tee and leather bracelet. She’s GOT to have some kind of a spray tan. She just looks so orange to me. Obviously people can do what they want, I’m just not a fan of fake tans. However, please allow me to lovingly trash Ashley’s wedding outfit with all due respect. This hairstyle is the worst and I’m SURE this was not Melissa McIntyre’s idea. lol. This is like, hair twisted into cornrows with pieces of the front left out to “frame the face”. This is already a quite dated hairstyle by 2004, wouldn’t you say? It’s like something Terri would wear for PMS. Ash is also wearing a necklace that looks like something you come back with from a Spring Break trip to the beach in 5th grade to go with your airbrushed t-shirt. The dress is a grey sweetheart cocktail dress with black lacy trim. I just don’t like the contrast of the cool-toned grey with the orange tan. Oh and that dropped waist is so bad. I’m not a fan of dropped waist, why do we want to elongate our torsos and shorten our legs? The cringe of this outfit is right on up there with the cringe of Craig’s behavior at the wedding (which we can’t blame him for but it was still awful). Sorry for the overuse of the very mean word “cringe”. Well, that’s all I have to say about the wedding outfit. I HAD to include this sick cell phone that lights up in different colors when it rings. LOVE it. And finally, Ash joins Craig in the hospital wearing a reddit jean jacket, low rise jeans, and grommet belt. Those pants were so dangerous. We were all 2 millimeters away from showing our coin slots constantly.


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